and I really really hoped I wouldn't die. and I really really hoped I wouldn't die...

she was lying on a table.
there was a strange man standing above her.
he explained to her what she was and how she came to be. he told her that he was the same being she was. that his group was all the same as she.
he explained that she had no choice. he was going to change her. like he had been changed. like he changed his group. she had no choice. he said it was for the best.

it was a blur from then.
she remembered being taught the way. the right way to live in her condition.
she remembered being punished for attacking a human in a moment of weakness. they forced her to attack one of their own.
one of their own that had no concern for the human life. one of their own that was not one of their own. there was no hope for these.
it devastated her. she learned.

training.

they took her to a massive weapons building.
they chose for her flame and a blade.
then they taught her how to use them.

training.

she didn't recall her emotions from this time.
she was willing to change.
her mind was set on that thought only.

they took her to a large building where she was to protect someone.
they partnered her with another of her kind.
the slight feeling of freedom caused her to become foolish.
and she drank.

he sent an attack.
she was caught off guard.
she was not in her right mind.
she couldn't penetrate them with her flame.
they were nearly completely resilient to her blade.
she couldn't see.
she couldn't think.
her mind was too altered to save herself, let alone her guard.

he had nearly finished her off when her partner finally crashed into the room.
together, they fought them off.
together, they killed them.


the sky was dark.
the rain was falling heavily.
she looked up, smiling at the feeling of the sky on her face.
she shot off from the ground, rising higher and higher.

was it possible she could finally be at peace?

this is what you see when you close your eyes?

it was an odd beginning.
there was nothing.
empty space. darkness.

then it began to rain.
heavy rain. thick rain.
the sky remained dark.
there was simply...rain.

then her mind was created. and she came into consciousness.
without really understanding how or why, she shot off from the ground.
she was angry. so angry she was shaking. so angry she could do anything she believed would save her. hence, she was in the air. in the rain. all her mind could feel was hate and bitterness.

the rain pelting against her face was her only consolation.
she was rising quickly, addicted to the feeling, as if it was the only thing in the universe keeping her alive. and whether she realized it or not, it was true.

then she began to wonder. why? how did it come to this?
she couldn't remember. but she knew she knew she was...different.
it was...something else.

then she was back on the ground.
and then she knew. the moment the rain stopped, everything changed.

the moment she saw the child, the rain stopped.
and she no longer had control over her mind or body.
within minutes, she had pounced, grabbing the child tightly in her arms. she squeezed her neck until she was no longer conscious, but kept her breathing. she didn't know how or why, but she knew this was the way.
she felt no need to see if anyone was watching her. there was no one else. this was the way.
she also knew the next few moments were going to be the most satisfying she had ever felt.

the child was limp in her arms. she subconsciously felt two teeth slide out between her lips. she was thirsty. so thirsty...
she leaned down next to the child's face, smelling her. her scent was intoxicating.
she took a moment, trying to decide whether she wanted it open or closed. it didn't really matter, but she felt as if it was important. she decided it would have to be open. and so it was. forcefully.
she sank her teeth into the left entire eyelid and eyeball. it tore roughly between her lips. then she paused. she could hardly breathe, it felt so amazing. so delicious. so...satisfying. she ate almost in a hurry, not even worrying about savoring it. the blood was...filling her with...life.

she slipped into a frenzied feeding. a blissful feeding.


she woke up in chains in a strange building. she had no recollection of her life for the first 23 seconds.

.

drown me.
burn me.
leave me.

I'll never escape these nightmares.

just our hands clasped so tight...

He walks over and sits down on a bench. He stares off, lost in thought. And then, from out of nowhere, there's her voice.

S: Hey.

She sits like an apparition on a neighboring bench. She may have just sat down, she may have been there for hours. He isn't sure if she's real. He doesn't quite know what to do.

S: Where you coming from?

T: What? Oh. Nowhere. How long have you been sitting there?

S: Awhile.

He finds it hard to look at her.

S: I come here alot. I always loved this place, ever since you brought me here.

The mention of their past makes the atmosphere odd. She walks over to sit next to him.

T: So...I should probably say congratulations.

S: Only if you mean it.

T: Ah, well...in that case...

S: I understand.

She laughs a little.

S: So are you okie?

T: I will be...eventually.


S: I like your suit.

T: Thanks.

S: You look sharp.

T: So do you.

S: Thanks.

T: I quit the office.

S: Really? That's great!


T: So...you're married.

S: Pretty crazy, huh?

T: You should have told me...

S: I know.

T: ...when we were dancing...

S: He hadn't asked me yet.

T: But he was in your life.


T: So why'd you dance with me?

S: Because I wanted to.

T: You just do what you want, don't you...

She looks down, smiling a little.

T: You never wanted to be anyone's girlfriend, and now you're somebody's wife.

S: Surprised me too.

T: I don't think I'll ever understand that. It doesn't make sense.

S: It just happened.

T: That's what I don't understand. What happened?

S: I woke up and I knew.

T: Knew what?

S: What I was never sure of with you.

He looks away.


T: You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete bullshit.

S: What is?

T: Destiny, soulmates, true love. All that stuff. It's nothing more than silly childhood fairy tale nonsense, isn't it? It sucks...

S: Tom, don't go.

T: I should have listened to you, Summer. You were right all along.

S: I was right?

She begins to laugh.


T: What are you laughing at?

She can't stop laughing.
He tries not to laugh himself.

S: One day I'm reading a book at the corner deli and this guy sits down and starts asking about it. Now he's my husband.
What would have happened if I went to the movies instead? If I went somewhere else for lunch? If I showed up to eat ten minutes later? Tom, it was meant to be, just like you said. And as it was happening, I knew it. I could feel it, sure as the sun. And I kept thinking to myself, Tom was right. You were right about all of it.
...It just wasn't me you were right about.

She takes his hand.


S: I should go. But I'm really happy to see that you are doing well.

She touches his face lightly.

T: I really do hope you are happy.

S: I know.
...See you later.

She smiles and walks away.

you said head shut it off. never again. never again.

the pain is incredible.
I have to make it go away.
or make it worse.
I'm forbidden to go away.
and I'm forbidden to make it worse.

and yet, what is forbidden to us in this world?
nothing. and everything.

all.

what was his saying? nothing is truth, everything is permitted?

I'm the hero of the story I don't need to be saved.

Loop me in, odd one.

once, we waltzed together...