we are. we just are. and what happens just happens.

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I'm not alright....

I see the lights are turning and I look outside
The stars are burning through this changing time
It could have been anything we want
It's fine, salvation was just a passing thought
It was just a passing thought.

Don't wait, act now
This amazing offer won't last long
It's the only chance to save the path we're on
I know there are more exciting things to talk about
And in time we'll sort it out.

And though they say it's possible
To me, I don't see how it's probable
I see the course we're on spinning farther from what I know
I'll hold on
Tell me that you won't let go.
Tell me that you won't let go.

And the truth is such a funny thing
With all these people
Keep on telling me
They know what's best
And what to be frightened of
And all the rest are wrong
They know nothing about us.
They know nothing about us.

I'm not alright.

This could be something beautiful
Combine our love into something wonderful
But times are tough I know
And the pull of what we can't give up takes hold.

its such a perfect day....

I float in a pool of darkness
Cold presses in on me
I am alone
Floating aimlessly
I reach for sparks of hope
But rather than warm
They only burn

I ache with sorrow
I hunger to leave
To escape
To leave this prison
I crave to be free
To be heard
To be loved

I'm the hero of the story, I don't need to be saved...

When the knell rung for the dying
Sounds for me.
And my corpse coldly is lying
Beneath the green tree.

When the turf, strangers are heaping
Covers my breast
Come not to gaze on me, weeping
I am at rest.

one way....

there is an anchor on my soul.
this heavy weight is pulling me down.
deeper than I've ever been before.

how do I escape?
do I let it sink me?
must I let it sink me?
only in order to breathe?

must I feel lost to find some sense of order?
I don't know how.
I don't know how to push to pull.
I don't know how to escape.

save for one way.

hate me today

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

I downshifted as I pulled into the driveway.
the motor screaming out stuck in second gear.
the scene ends badly as you might imagine,
in a cavalcade of anger and fear.

there will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year.

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

how?

No, I can’t forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way this story goes.
You always smile....
But in your eyes your sorrow shows
It shows.

And now it’s only fair that I should let you know
What you should know.

I can't live
If living is without you.
I can’t give anymore.
I can’t live
If living is without you.
I can’t give,
I can’t give anymore.

to be?

will you let me disappear for a while? everyone else seems to do it so easily. why do I feel so tied down?

oh susie q....

I miss my bestie.

progress on the house...

amazing tool we found that helped us put the floor in...



the blue blue bathroom...hopefully I'ma put some orange art in there to off-set it a bit. :P


Andy thought the porch rails were too high. I said they were just perfect. ;) doesn't that look comfy?


the floor. and this is where our bed is. the bathroom is just there to the left. AC unit, under which is a dresser...


Quarter round. I love the floor. I think its so badass. ;)


amazing. :)

soil and six feet under....

so. painting the house.

scary.

scary color...

I don't know if I like it.

it looks....greenish. :S

but I'm sure it will be fine....

.....right?

ohman.

and going to get cement in a few. for an amazing porch.

I miss our contractor...