all we can do is keep breathing....

I wish that I could tell people that things will be okie. I wish I could tell them not to be sad. I wish I could cheer them up somehow.

I wish I could do all the things I want to. all the things I CAN do, but that I'm too scared to do.

but the things we wish for most often are not what is the best for us....

no?

tonight's gonna be a good night....

first to be with you in the beginning.

first to be with you in the end.

much love.

make me immortal with a kiss....

They're playing our song
They're playing our song
Can you see the lights?
Can you hear the hum?

Of our song
I hope they get it right
I hope we dance tonight
Before we, get it wrong

And the seasons
Will change us new
Be the best I've known
and you know me
I could not be stuck on you
If it were true

I was sleeping
My eyes were dark
Til you woke me
And told me that opening
is just the start
it was

Now I see you, til kingdom come
You're the one I want
To see me for all the stupid shit I've done


Soil and six feet under
Killed just like we were
Before you knew you'd know me
And you know me

Blooming up from the ground
3 Rounds and a sound
Like whispering you know me
And you know me


So this was our song
This was our song
I still see the lights
I can see them

And the criss cross
Of what is true, won't get to us
Cause you know me
I could not give up on you

And the fog of what is right
Won't cover us cause you know me
I could not give up a fight

I drew a new face and I laughed....

my dearest.
I cannot tell you how much you mean to me.
so that's where this post ends. ;)


only kidding.
I will try. ;)

thank you for being my husband. you understand me.
one year with you.
I've been the happiest this year than any other year in my life.
you make me feel so beautiful always and so loved.
some of the best parts of my days are when you make me laugh.
and some of the best parts of my days are when I see you smile or laugh.
you make my life.
I love you.

I will be the one who loves you the most....

I am here. unable to close my eyes. unable to let the darkness overcome me.

I feel a...heaviness in my soul.

wake up.

hold my hand.

don't leave.

wake up.

inhale these deep breaths with me for one more day.

watch the time go by beside me, not knowing, not caring.

just be.

red lips so kissable....

365 days, my love. ;)

remember this, my love...

When the sky is falling from above you
And the wind is raging from the coast
And you want someone who truly loves you
I will be the one who loves you the most.

When the masquerade and burlesqued balls
Become too ordinary to boast
You complain about the parade and curtain calls
I will be the one who loves you the most
Yeah, I will be the one who loves you the most.

When the women with their stolen graces
Don't invite you to play host
To their daughters with fake faces
I will be the one who loves you the most.

When all the debutantes desert you
And all the doorways are all closed
And the harlequins have hurt you
I will be the one who loves you the most.
I will be the one who loves you the most.

When your suitors sneering swank beside you
And leave you hollow like a ghost
And you just want somebody to confide to
I will be the one who loves you the most.
I will be the one who loves you the most.

See, when you forgive your imperfections
And you've auctioned all your clothes
And look to see your true reflection
You will be the one who loves you the most.
You will be the one who loves you the most.
You will be the one who loves you the most.

One of the beasts nipped the left leg of my jeans and tugged.

Grief can destroy you - or focus you. You can decide a

relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in

death, and you are alone. Or you can realize that every

moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize

at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just

lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each

day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the SACREDNESS

of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to

see it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just

watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or

washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric

bill. It was everything, it was the WHY Of life, every

event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery

of existence is the love you shared sometimes so

imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper

beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off

your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees

not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what

preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one

day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness,

to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.


Dean Koontz. Odd Hours.

we can live like jack and sally if we want...

• "Fire scares me, yes, and earthquakes, and venomous snakes. People scare me more than anything, for I know too well the savagery of which humankind is capable."

see if you can push me before I pull the trigger....

Public Enemies.

Johnny Depp.
Marion Cotillard.
Christian Bale.
Leelee Sobieski.

A.MAZING. oh.my.god. go watch it now. NOW, dammit. it is super fantastic. and yes, I am this excited about it.