there is a world where emotion is prohibited. sometimes I wish for that world.

is it normal how we as humans are drawn to each other? I suppose, for we are.
it's interesting noticing *who we are drawn to, and how we so often ignore and forget those who we aren't drawn to. how we so often don't give people chances. we judge. and we never care to find out if we could have had a lifetime knowing that person.
it's interesting noticing those words. drawn to. like some invisible string connects our hearts.
and how sometimes that invisible string somehow contracts into itself, allowing life to bring us closer.
it's interesting noticing how often we rip those strings from our hearts, and separate ourselves from those we love. for whatever reason. any reason we see fit. any reason which forces us.

that feeling of..."I want to spend the rest of my life with this person."
that feeling when they say yes. or when they say no. when they say that they don't want you to ask. please, please don't ask, my love. they say this. and you feel something. what does it mean?

this is all just a jumble of thoughts in my head, oddly enough brought on by a scene in an episode of Heroes. none of it makes sense. but I've made this blog an outlet. so I use it.

it seems as though all humans should be connected. we're all the same. all of us in this world together. why don't we band together, why don't we help each other? why does it have to be everyone for themselves? I ask this, I want this, yet...I can't do it. I am angry with someone.
I know it's all in my head. I know I could be perfectly content with that person in my world. but for some reason, I refuse to. I think if I...allow myself to be okie with it, nothing will make sense. I'll be letting go. and at this moment, I can't do that. I'll sob and beg and laugh and pretend, but I won't let go. some things you can't...until time rusts away the memory. then only ashes remain.

there's no way I can put to words all these thoughts in my head tonight. some will be lost, some will appear on another page at another time.
at the end of the day, all I know is...I am. I am being breathed. I am a presence in this space at this time. and I continue.
my body aches, and my heart aches, but I know these invisible strings from my heart, the strong ones, the ones that waver, the ones that are nearly completely shattered, they are attached to some other amazing hearts. and without you, I wouldn't be. I love you.