I'd catch a grenade for ya...

I feel hope.
I can feel it within my grasp...so close, it's like a thin film separating me from life.
it's the thin film that has been reinforced every day by my own blindness...until now.
something changed. I'm not sure what.

maybe it's because one of my close friends is pregnant. and I feel the need to be strong for her.
maybe it's because my phone just lit up two seconds ago saying I have a text from a dear old friend, Alma.
maybe it's because I just got a promotion.

but I can feel it...it's so close. I just have to reach out and break that film...



So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways, all my underdogs
We will never be, never be anything but loud
And nitty gritty, dirty little freaks
Won't you come on and come on and
Raise your glass!
Just come on and come on and
Raise your glass!

so...?

Today, I have felt despair.

Time flies too quickly. It simply...disappears. Sometimes I don't quite know how to be okie with it.
People die, people leave, people try to kill you...you try to kill yourself. You try to escape in any way possible...it's like the song, "you bleed just to know you're alive." Sometimes it just feels to difficult to continue living.

now...

Cleo died.

Atm, we have Dmitri and Nelson Mandela.

12.31 in the AM

today, I remembered the good times...

why don't I feel better?

you can stand under my umbrella...

Phil and Delaney...finally married. ;)


yay for new sisters. ;) love you girls.

you've torn off every hand that's tried to feed you...

today, I have felt a wicked amount of emotions.

I have felt sad. definitely scared. just a tiny bit jealous. happy. lucky. pain.
...lonely.
confused.

today, I feel the weight of air.

if you would only look at me someday...without your eyes turning away.

"without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's..."

the newest addition. can't wait to show you, Mattie. ;)