edit.

I'm grasping for the proper words.
I can't find them.

not for this.
not for this.

you know my heart.
you have a part of it forever.

I looked for you for so long...
everywhere...in reality...
but I finally found you in my dreams.
I finally...found you.
and as I knelt beside your tombstone, I recognized that...
I'd lost you.
again.
and this time, I know...I can't bring you back.

and despair fills me.
because I know I won't.

spare me, help me, remember me, avenge me...

Say how's the weather, so I look out the window
To brighten my soul, but I can't control the rain
That keeps falling
Smile on the outside that never comes in
A comedy, mystery, irony, tragedy
So I scream "let the show begin"

You break me open, turn on the light
Stumble inside with me, with me

Do I entertain you?
Do I preoccupy you with my wit to cover this lie?
Are you mesmerized?
Do you think me faithful, do you think me a clown?
I picked out this shirt, I put on this hat
I wore all this paint just for you.